How do I get different results?
You start by changing the way you think… About yourself and everything that happens to you… You stop blaming and start owning… Here is why and how!
If you change the way you think, you change the way you feel. If you change the way you fee, you change the way you act. If you change the way you act, you change the way you show up and behaviour. By showing up better and behaving better you get better results.
If only it was that simple…
…But there’s no denying, you can change the results you get in your life by changing the way you think (about yourself)…
Do you own a successful mind?
Often, I get asked by people, how do I improve my life, how do I move it forward: in life, relationships, business, finances, friendships, health and career… I always tell these people the same answer – Get out of your own way.
Previous experiences shape the way you think and feel about everything. You are conditioned and programmed, you have your own values and beliefs that rightly or wrongly allow us to either move forward toward success or backward toward failure. Note, life is in motion, it is never static. Therefore, standing still is an illusion.
Is your thinking moving you toward success or toward failure?
Everyone has a story. The very first step in learning to think differently is to understand your story. When you look at your life, objectively, are you making it happen (Ownership Mentality) or letting it happen (Blame Mentality).
Everything you think, feel, do and experience, every environment or circumstance you encounter – you allow it or create it. To move forward, to change your thinking you have to take and accept responsibility.
Think of something that hasn’t ended well, what was your role or responsibility in ‘it’? If you had owned your role, would the outcome have been more favourable?
It is almost always easier to blame other people or a set of circumstance. But… When you blame, you give your power away, the power you will need to build momentum and move forward in a better direction.
When we have a problem, we create a story around what has caused the problem. We distract ourselves, we blame others, or we blame ourselves. Nothing good comes of this, certainly not any form of progress. Either way, you can’t change what has happened you can only own it and move forward…
I have done this! I have learned from first-hand experience that once you recognise, you don’t know what you don’t know, you can rewrite the rule book on life, you can choose a different path and you can find a better way forward.
The way forward comes from taking a position of ownership and personal responsibility.
Taking an ownership mentality or adopting a position of personal responsibly isn’t easy, that’s why most people don’t do it and go on to live mundane, safe lives full of blame and regret.
Those that are successful don’t do that. The embrace failure or negative experiences and seek to understand how they can get better results from these experiences when they encounter something simpler. My first coach taught me to change my relationship with failure – and it wasn’t easy. I still hate to fail, but now, when it happens, I don’t dwell on it for a single second. I am all about positive future intentions and learning from the feedback I have gained.
You should try this…
So, moving forward, take back your power.
Forget finger pointing, forget the limitations of your own story and stop blaming others for what you do or don’t have in your life. Taking back ownership and responsibility; this is the foundation for creating a successful mindset.
Ask yourself… No, actually stop! Let’s do this properly… Write each of these questions on a separate piece of paper… Pick up a pen, peel back the layers, cut the crap, explore your mind, your intuition and see what answers you come up with to these questions?!
Q1 – What do I want in my life and why don’t I have it now?
Q2 – Who do I need to be to get the results I want in my life?
Q3 – What must a Start doing and what must I Stop doing to move myself forward?
For any person, any team, any culture or any community to change they have to be prepared to change their mindset. There has to be a shift in their position in relation to the problem. Often, the real cause of the problem isn’t the problem. It’s the commotion your mind creates around the problem.
The sooner you realise you can’t control other people’s thoughts, feelings, action or lack of actions – you can only control your own, the sooner you will be moving forward to living a more happy, engaging, successful and rewarding life.
Get out of your own way… By taking ownership of EVERYTHING.
Want to know more, checkout out my 12 week 1 on 1 BetterMen Coaching Programme…