Sit down, take a minute, read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented.

This month’s prompt theme is Workaholism.

Society, partly fuelled by men of previous generations has created an environment where men tend to attach, consciously or otherwise, their identity to what they do, or work as. What might have started as an enthusiasm to progress professionally can end up with a man developing an obsessive attitude toward work. A recent UK-based survey commissioned by SPANA found that 57% of respondents checked their emails during the weekend, that 40% feel they cannot switch off after work and that 20% checked their emails whilst in bed. The term workaholic came into existence in 1971 in the book ‘The Confessions of a Workaholic’ since then, not only has a compulsion to work fuelled significant success, but it has also been at the centre of divorces, children raised with absent fathers and serious stress-related health concerns. Complete the prompts below to assess your relationship with work:

I. Gut feeling, do I work or think about work too much

II. How would your loved ones describe your attitude toward work…



III. If your career or business was taken from you, who would you be without it…

This month’s recommendation is Modern Wisdom.

Guest, Dr Robert Glover, is a therapist and author; and men need to hear his message. He’s best known for his controversial but significantly important book, No More Mr Nice Guy. Being nice is something many of us aspire to become. After all, who doesn't want to be nice? Well, ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’, the phrase coined by Dr Glover has been ruining the lives of many men for decades so perhaps we could aspire to be something else, something better. 

If you’re prepared to listen, it truly is an enlightening episode.

Instead of an episode, this feels more like two peers having a great conversation; expect to learn what is wrong with being a nice guy, why men become so afraid of putting their needs first, how to stop people pleasing, why nice guys end up resentful and bitter, whether nice guys attract or repel women and much more... Jump to 4:40 to skip the adverts – if you wish.

This month’s content piece is around men being unable, or, in some cases, unwilling to understand and express how they feel. You can read the post here and access it on LinkedIn by clicking the link below. 

Alexithymia is a masculine affliction; it’s the inability to recognise and express one’s own emotions and feelings. 

For most men, this will be the root cause of what’s wrong in their lives; the genesis of those repetitive life patterns they experience, over and over. 

You see, if you can’t understand your feelings, or why you feel the way you do, you simply can’t understand yourself. When this happens, and despite the generalisation, men tend to withdraw. They tend to stonewall their emotions, to shut down their feelings. 

Numb to the angst, the stress, the frustration, the discontent, the inner conflict of ‘why aren’t I enjoying my life more?’, or ‘is this it for the rest of my life?’ questions come, uncomfortably, to the front of their minds. 

Numbing feels like an answer, a useful strategy, but in truth, it’s not, the suppression is maladaptive. The withdrawal numbing causes relational disconnect, mostly personal, from loved ones, family and friends, and fosters an apathetic state of meaningless. 

I once heard the phrase: what a tragedy it is to live a tolerable life… It’s true and common; too many men tolerate their seemingly successful lives. 

Often downstream of alexithymia and subsequent numbing comes some form of adverse intervention: a divorce or relationship breakdown, a business failure or significant career challenge, perhaps a health scare – you’d be surprised how many chronically stressed men experience panic attacks that they never share or discuss with others. 

Anyway. Regardless of the particulars, the adversity of experience is what usually jolts a man into awareness of his state and my message is this: 

To those men out there suffering from alexithymia or who experience numbness... To feel, to have feelings isn’t a weakness, nor is it emasculating, it’s very much part of the human experience. Don’t fall on your word, stoically soldiering on, be proactive in learning, or re-learning, how to connect to your feelings and self.

No two M&M’s are ever the same! Route, attendees, weather, and topic of conversation all influence the overall experience. This time, in March, the differentiator was a river crossing. Recent heavy rainfall had turned what is typically a stream into a fast-moving, thigh-high body of water. Crossing it safely provided us with a unique opportunity to literally lean on each other. 

I often talk about the connection, camaraderie, cheerfulness in adverse, the sense of connection and belonging that M&M’s creates and this month’s walk was a true embodiment of this – as you can see in the image below; this is what our support of one another looks like.

After the crossing, inclement weather and a fairly challenging 8-mile route, every man left our walk feeling tired but alive! Nature and connection, not just for me, or the men of M&M’s, truly are a tonic to the challenges of our modern lives.

Aside from my usual invitation to join us, click the link to do so, I want to share the progress of our charitable support for Wales Air Ambulance; already this year, we’ve raised over £1700! Kudos to our members and supporters.



Future dates; we’re out next on: 14 Apr, 12 May and 9 Jun.