February 2024
Life is busy and time is precious. This monthly bulletin, the first of the New Year saves you time and effort by providing you with a range of resources relating to all thing’s men, mindset and success.
Don’t just read the quotes.
Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life.
This month’s quote theme is: Cause and Effect.
At my core, I believe everything that happens comes about because of a cause and effect relationship; one thing makes another thing happen. A cause is a catalyst, an action that creates or instigates a chain of events that result in an effect, something you experience. Too many men live lives of reactivity; experience life as it happens to them. I propose a much more assertive approach; one where we become the cause of the effect we wish to experience. Imagine a life free from day-to-day trivialities, one where you truly take the lead in terms of your health, relationships, career or business success
Take a moment to consider the quotes.
Sit down, take a minute, read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented.
This month’s prompt theme is Embracing Reality.
To live a fulfilling life, it’s essential you embrace your reality with a high degree of objectivity. Then, with conscious thought, and spades of courage, it’s equally essential you choose to deal with whatever you’re experiencing well. Sidenote, a symptom of middle-aged mediocrity, a common trap that many men fall into, is wishing life were different; don’t allow yourself to find false solace in this sorry state. Instead, be a man of strength and deliberateness, embrace your reality, accept, own and navigate whatever you’re experiencing. Embracing reality is a skill, the more you practice it, the more proficient you will become and leverage its power, and ultimately the better your experience of life will be. Embrace your reality by completing the prompts below:
I. What tough conversations am I avoiding…
II. A situation or problem that keeps reoccurring in my life is… and it keeps reoccurring because…
III. If I were to wake up tomorrow and my life is significantly better, the things that would have changed would be…
This month’s BetterMen video is: Are You Half the Man You Used to Be?
With a nod to Einstein’s definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, I present to you the flawed strategy that is hope. Hoping something changes is passive, it renounces responsibility, it’s a near-certain segue to a situation of challenge worsening, and yet, it’s a common theme I see from men who have lost their sense of purpose or whose lives lack meaning. Ignoring a lack of purpose or avoiding a challenging life issue isn’t a solution, it's avoidance, it nearly always erodes one’s sense of self and results in a state of compounded inertia. Don’t be or become half the man you used to be.
This month’s recommendation is Inside the Mind of Champions.
Former international cricketer, Jeremy Snape, a great guy and LinkedIn connection, brings us a fascinating podcast series where he interviews and opens up elite performers. In this episode, deep-thinking and articulate, 2003 Rugby World Cup winner, Jonny Wilkinson, reflects on his rugby career. Together, Jeremy and Jonny unpack the beliefs and behaviours that drove his intense perfectionism and attention to detail.
It’s a captivating listen; Jonny explains the role his mindset played throughout his career and how having a more flexible identity and living in the moment can help us to have more energy, fun and success. Take a listen, and let me know what you think.
This month’s book recommendation is: Chop Wood Carry Water.
At around 120 pages, this book is a hugely accessible read. It centres around ‘John’ and his life ambition to become a Samurai warrior. Guided by Akira, his sensei, John comes to learn the greatest challenge on his journey to becoming a samurai will be overcoming and defeating the man he sees in the mirror.
A powerful fable that teaches readers valuable lessons; most notably how to ‘fall in love with the process of becoming great’.
This month’s content piece is around how we must, sooner or later, relinquish our desire to fit in and conform and instead, take life on. You can read the post here and access it on LinkedIn by clicking the link below.
Unless we’re hyper-aware, the world will tell us who we are and how we should live our lives. At best, this is a paradox, at worst, it’s a tragedy, as almost everyone doing the telling doesn’t know who they are themselves.
Our need to fit in and conform is deep-rooted, as is our compulsion to compare.
Unconsciously we view the world through a distorted lens, caring more about the opinions and expectations of others than our own.
We forget life’s destination is death. The result, we squander our finite time, surviving not thriving, spending what we earn, collecting societal success symbols, trying and failing, repeatedly, to buy ‘fleeting’ happiness, all whilst struggling to reconcile dad guilt or get to inbox zero.
Have you noticed, as we age, our years quickly become our decades, we run the very real risk of reliving the same week, month, year, over and over, all whilst the sand-timer of our finite existence empties?
Sooner or later, we have to take life on. To do so, and get unstuck, we have to risk feeling worse before better.
We must accept the discomfort, the inconvenience of our reality and move beyond our conditioning, biases, rationalisations and denials.
We have to take back control of our own lives. Whatever health, happiness and wholeness mean to us, to achieve it, we have to align our outer actions with our inner thoughts. Counterintuitively, we must give up the safety and security of fitting in; our conformist herd mentality and stop sleep walking through life.
It’s precisely as Roosevelt said: ‘We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us.'
My choice is to wear out.
This month’s TED Talk isn’t a TED! Instead, it’s a powerful and thought-provoking video by Richard Reeves on Male Inequality.
Reeves states that boys and men are falling behind. This might seem surprising to some people, and maybe ridiculous to others, considering that discussions on gender disparities tend to focus on the challenges faced by girls and women, not boys and men. But long-term data reveals a clear and alarming trend; here Reeves argues that the structural problems contributing to male malaise affect everybody and that shying away from these tough conversations is not a productive path forward.
A record-breaking 51 men joined our first M&M’s walk of the year! As we assembled, laced our boots and donned our packs, there was a mix of: excitement, energy, unity, a sense of adventure combined with warmth, smiles and strength - everything that represents the best of M&M’s.
Our walk, in epic scenery and great conditions, was an 8-miler. Our topic of conversation, there’s one on every walk, was inspired by a Socrates quote, ‘Waste no time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.' Hearing, sharing and debating the qualities of a good man was a great segue into the new year.
January’s walk was also significant as it signalled the official start of our charitable partnership for 2024. As a community, we’re proud to be raising money for and championing awareness for another vitally important regional charity, this time, Wales Air Ambulance Charity • Elusen Ambiwlans Awyr Cymru - and at £430, we’re off to a fantastic start! If you’re able to support our charitable initiative, the best way to do so is via our JustGiving page; link below:
Support Us: https://justgiving.com/team/menandmountains2024
If you want to walk our January route, it can be Accessed Here
If you want to view photos from the walk,
Click Here
Middle age malaise?
Do you find yourself questioning ‘it this it’, or fearing your best years are behind you?
In less than 2 minutes, my Do I Need A Coach? diagnostic tool will help you identify the areas of life that are either helping you succeed or hindering your progress.
Upon completion, you’ll receive a PDF report detailing your unique score with specific recommendations designed to enable you to progress – both personally and professionally.
