July 2024
Life is busy and time is precious. This monthly bulletin saves you time and effort by providing you with a range of resources relating to all things men and mindset.
Don’t just read the quotes.
Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life.
This month’s quote theme is: Purpose.
Society is wrong, it perpetuates the narrative that purpose is a static attribute, something we inherently possess or can attain like an object. This misconception leads to the belief that purpose is a fixed state of being rather than a dynamic practice.
In reality, purpose is not something we have but something we do; it’s a way of living that involves intentionality and continuous action and is marked by an enthusiasm that drives our decisions and behaviours.
Sit down, take a minute, read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented.
This month’s prompt theme is Systemising Success.
Relying on willpower alone to achieve success is problematic because willpower is a transient and finite resource. Over time, it can wane due to stress, fatigue, and various external pressures. Willpower limitation means that even the most determined individuals, if they’re heavily dependent on their inner resolve, can struggle to maintain consistent progress toward their goals.
Systemising success on the other hand, a process I talk more about in my book, Rethinking Masculinity, involves creating structured processes and habits that guide us toward our objectives. By implementing systems, we reduce our reliance on willpower. For example, setting a specific time for exercise, or dedicating a portion of the day to do ‘focused work’ helps to embed these activities into our routine, making them habitual, and less dependent on fluctuating motivation levels.
Complete the prompts below to deepen your understand of how systemising success could reward you:
I. Personally, and professionally, what’s the cost of your inconsistency…?
II. In what areas of life do you feel like you’re underperforming, and what would you have to systemise to bring your performance back to standard…?
III. If you devised a system to bring your life performance forward, think: diet, exercise, phone usage, investing more effort in your relationship, who could you invite to hold you to account…?
This month’s recommendation is Feel Better, Live More.
This episode, especially for the parents reading this is a MUST listen! It’s about the introduction of social media and smartphones into all aspects of our lives - and what impact this is having on us individually, collectively and, perhaps most urgently, what impact is this having on our children. Jonathan Haidt is arguably one of the worlds most eminent psychologists; in this episode, he explores how the differences between online and real-world interactions are affecting young people's social, emotional and cognitive development. He goes on to share eye-opening data about the link between a decline in teen mental health and the widespread adoption of smartphones and social media
It really is a MUST listen; it includes practical strategies for parents and places importance on our need for collective action to create healthier norms around technology use.
This month’s book recommendation is: Wooden on Leadership.
A fantastic, and pragmatic book that presents excellent leadership principles - from one of the greatest coaches of all time. Wooden's leadership philosophy is simple but profound. Whether you’re a leader in business, sports, or a father focused on raising healthy children, this book offers nuggets of leadership principles that can easily be applied. Wooden's methods aren’t complex or fancy; it’s a straightforward set of ideas based on Wooden’s cumulative experience, and lessons learned. What makes it a great read is the consistency of philosophy and character throughout the book; Wooden practised what he preached. Bottom line, it’s a great book!
This month’s content piece takes an important look at parenting from a father’s perspective; particularly at how little time we actually have with our children and how who we are informs their character development. Read the post here, or access it on LinkedIn, by clicking the link below:
Dads, you probably never think about this, but you should.
Around 90% of the time you’ll ever spend with your children will be between their birth and them turning 18.
Let that soak in, or wake you up?
If you become a dad, it must, must, must, at least, until you feel your child is ready to live life on their own terms, be your most important responsibility.
There are plenty of men, sadly most of them don’t realise they’re doing it, but they’re treating parenting like a box-ticking exercise.
Food, clothes, comfy bed, schooling, taxi service, homework, assemblies and sports days – tick!
It’s the wrong way to parent, and in our hearts, we feel it, and we know it.
I read something by John Abbott recently, he said, ‘We must be what we wish our children to be; they will form their characters from ours’.
They will form their character from ours…
My parenting approach and their character development are about exposing, gradually, my children to both the opportunities and risks, they will encounter in the world.
I find, personally, the best environments to achieve this are through nature, sport and adventurous pursuits.
This 16-second clip of Spencer controlling the speed of our toboggan exemplifies how I ‘dad’.
If you know you weren’t the dad your children deserve over half-term, you get another chance; the summer school holidays are just around the corner.
This month’s TED Talk is: The Museum of Four in the Morning.
You won’t, I suspect, be empowered, nor will you learn anything here, but the light-heartedness might make you smile, and wonder, and next time you wake at 4 am, think who else in the world is thinking about this exact same TED. Rives, a self-proclaimed authority on ‘nothing’ has a contagious obsession with 4 am. At a previous TED, the poet shared what was then his minor fixation with the time that kept popping up everywhere; since then he has, with a blend of curiosity and wit, gone on to create The Museum of Four in the Morning. It's a refreshing, less serious and more fun TED.
At Men & Mountains, we meet to walk, talk and connect - beyond the superficialities of day-to-day exchanges. This month’s discussion topic was twofold. Before lunch, using only three words, we discussed, individually, what we’re an example of. I heard words such as:
Curious, kind, loving, authentic, compassionate, heart-led, disciplined, grounded, deliberate, present and proud mentioned.
After lunch, we shared one word that represents a quality, or trait, that we want to work on, and that would make us better versions of ourselves. My word was consistent, but I also heard:
Disciplined, confident, courageous, honest, compassionate.
We’re all, all of us, work in progress. I truly believe that meaningful connection through quality, peer-to-peer conversation, is the cure to so many of the challenges men face.
If you want to walk our June’s route, it can be
Accessed Here
I put this montage together; in under a minute, it captures the very best of who we are:
Click Here
Our next walk is on:
21 Jul. Want to join us? It’s easy: register, get your boots on and get on a walk - there’s no cost, or commitment.
We’re now over halfway through the year; are you on course, living deliberately or do you feel more like you’re languishing and re-living the same weeks over and over?
With my consultation service, it’s a small investment, £300, that yields a significant return. In one 90-minute session, analyse your life, identify the root causes of your stressors, and craft a plan to get life back on track.
