May 2024
Life is busy and time is precious. This monthly bulletin saves you time and effort by providing you with a range of resources relating to all things men and mindset.
Don’t just read the quotes.
Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life.
This month’s quote theme is: Intentionality
Intentionality embodies a deliberate approach to life, marked by conscious decisions, aligned with personal values and aspirations. It’s the antithesis of reacting to circumstance or defaulting to habitual patterns. It encompasses mindful awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviours and guides towards deliberate outcomes and meaningful experiences. By embracing intentionality, men can foster a sense of purpose and direction, empowering them to pursue their goals with clarity and focus: think greater self-leadership. Ultimately, intentionality equips men with the tools, and mindset, needed to live deliberately, navigate challenge, cultivate meaningful experiences, and lead purposeful, fulfilling lives. Consider, curiously, the quotes below…
Sit down, take a minute, read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented.
This month’s prompt theme is Assertiveness.
I work in a world where men want to experience life differently, or better. After the talking is done, action points established, the next barrier to change is often resistance to expressing one's (new) needs. The gateway from a life enmeshed in challenge and stress to a life rich in success and connection is through assertiveness. Assertiveness is a communication style characterised by the ability to express one's thoughts, feelings, and needs in a direct, honest, and respectful manner. It involves standing up for oneself, expressing opinions and desires, and setting appropriate boundaries without being either aggressive or passive. Without being assertive, little to nothing changes; it’s a key component in: self-respect, healthy relationships and conflict resolution. Complete the prompts below to assess your relationship with assertiveness…
I. A boundary I know I need to set, but haven’t is…
II. A conversation I’m resisting is… I’m resisting it because…
III. For the benefit of our relationship, a person I need to be more assertive with is…
This month’s recommendation is Modern Wisdom.
If you’re not already subscribed to Modern Wisdom, you’re missing out – IMO, it’s hands down better than DOAC. In this episode, George ‘TheTinMen’, a pro men’s advocate and writer shares rationally and statistically, why he believes the world doesn’t care about men. He puts forward, without malice or any semblance of misogyny, countless examples of exclusion, discrimination and double standards, and why there’s this flawed belief men are still the benefactors of a patriarchy they no longer feel a part of.
Expect to learn why men's mental health is in the ‘toilet’, why 80% of 18-24-year-old suicides are men and why 15% of men say they have zero close friends to call on in an emergency. Also discussed are thought-provoking topics around leaked dick pics, closed, toxic social media groups and whether men have reproductive rights. Note – skip the adverts, listen from 4:40.
This month’s book recommendation is: Essentialism.
Our world is moving faster and faster; we’re bombarded by endless information and rapidly multiplying demands on our time - and attention. Many men struggle to cope with their bottomless to-do lists and ever-expanding commitments. As a consequence, many feel scattered, spread thin or burned out. In ‘Essentialism’, author Greg McKeown provides an antidote by arguing that we should focus on the essentials. Thereby, we can concentrate our efforts on the things that truly matter and ignore the noise.
At less than 70 pages, this book is a must-read for anyone trying to navigate their way through life. Fundamentally, it’s about how to understand one's place in the world, how to cope when things don't go well, how to manage one's emotions and how to behave towards others.
This month’s content piece exposes the void between what success looks like and how it feels. When I posted it, a considerable number of men DM’d me stating ‘I feel like you’re talking about my life in your post’. If you can relate – you’re not alone. Read the post here or access it on LinkedIn by clicking the link below:
Mark has worked hard to build his business. He's achieved significant success, but it's come at a cost. His demanding role requires long hours and constant pressure to perform.
He often finds himself sacrificing time with his family and neglecting his well-being as he tirelessly firefights the most recent business challenge.
Years of neglecting his health in favour of his career have caught up with Mark. He's unfit, out of shape, lacks energy and often struggles with sleep.
Despite being surrounded by colleagues and employees; Mark often feels secretly isolated and disconnected.
His busy schedule leaves little time for socialising or nurturing meaningful relationships. He’s always making excuses for things he said he’d do but didn’t.
Mark is constantly under pressure: whether it be leading his people, growing the business, or managing his responsibilities as a father and husband. Despite his best efforts, he often feels like he’s failing.
The stress of his job and the busyness of his life started to take its toll long ago – but only now is Mark feeling the side effects of his success.
If you’re a Mark, it’s time you reached out. I’m a coach, confidant, mentor, sounding board and critical friend to men serious about succeeding – personally and professionally. I provide a discreet, peer-proven service for men who are ready to stop pretending they enjoy the life they’ve worked hard to build.
Message me, today, and let’s explore how different, or better, in a few short months, your life could be…
This month’s TED Talk is: How to build (and rebuild) trust.
Trust is the foundation for everything we do. But, regardless of context, what do we do when it's broken? In a compassionate and illuminating talk, Harvard Business School professor, Frances Frei, gives a crash course in trust: how to build it, maintain it and rebuild it - something she has practical experience of from her time at Uber. Through what she describes as the three tenants of trust: authenticity, logic and empathy, Frie says, ‘if we can learn to trust one another more, we can have unprecedented human progress’. Given the polarity and conflict of the world right now, it seems focusing on and fostering trust, at home, in our communities, and in the workplace, could offer us redemption.
Superb weather, route, and conditions, combined with quality conversation and connection made April’s Men & Mountains an outstanding experience. 32 men with around 20% being ‘first timers’ travelled from across the country, literally, to walk, talk and connect in the Brecon Beacons. We enjoyed blue skies and fresh winds as we navigated a great 8.5 miler. Our topic of conversation brought forth courage and vulnerability, in equal measure; it was: What is hindering your happiness?
Whilst there’s no cost to join our walks, the generosity of our community supports regional charities. This year, we're supporting the fantastic, and vitally important, Wales Air Ambulance (WAA). Our fundraising target, whilst modest is £3k. I’m pleased to report we’re already over £1800. WAA are soon to unveil a new and exciting awareness campaign that will put M&M’s, literally on the map.
If you want to walk our April route, it can be Accessed Here
If you want to view photos from the walk, Click Here
Our next walks are on:
12 May, 9 Jun and 21 Jul. If you’re interested in joining us, we’re a community of good-quality, like-minded men who meet to walk and talk - it’s that simple. All you need is reasonable fitness, boots, waterproof and some basic equipment.
My new website is live. It’s clear, compelling, and designed for middle-aged men facing the side effects of professional success.
It's a conduit to living better; it lists my services (more about that below) and showcases useful resources: blog posts, self-assessment tools and podcast episodes I’ve guested on. Head over, take a look.
I’m offering a new service; it’s called Intervention Coaching. It’s designed to enable men to take back control of their lives, in the shortest possible time, and to live with clarity, deliberateness, energy and connection.
To view our Intervention Coaching Page Click Here
